14/10/2019 – Random Thoughts and Reflections.
Exactly, a month ago, I shared my thoughts pertaining to my own Social Science observation in which I have in the past 5 years noted with dismay, some 5 groups of Family members who once upon a time were very closely knit to each other as sisters, cousins and brothers but instead of happily living together as extended families the very same way they used to, they have decided to go against the African and Zambian values and opted for nuclear family arrangement much to the chagrin of and perplexed elders and old parents. Sisters have turned against sisters and brothers. Cousins against cousins and aunties against aunties and uncles. I felt and I still do feel that this trend is apparently growing and both the church and the community or society seems to be very helpless against the downward trend! Will it be arrested? I was and I’m still doubtful! The Western modernity of Nuclear Family definition has crept in. Wako ni Wako Te fintu sana! We are only bumping into each other accidentally during shopping, funerals, wedding or Political election campaigns. Each one or each family for themselves and God for us all. Tesana! Tepabubi mwe
This mid-month of October 2019, when our first born daughter turned 25 years of age yesterday, as I congratulated her and wished her a happy birthday, I reminded her and several others who were around then that in real life there are and will be many times we are hurt by other people’s behaviour, actions, deeds, treatment, words etc. This is when hatred comes in our mind, which may lead to angry thoughts, which may eventually result in improper actions.
It is well said that forgiveness is the best revenge. Remembering that forgiveness is not at all as easy as you think, but it surely is the best solution to live a peaceful and a problem-free life. If you forgive others and forget about their bad behavior or actions, we can move ahead in life and achieve our goals effectively.
We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. – Martin Luther King, Jr. Mandela forgave those who imprisoned him. So did Kenneth Kaunda.
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. – Colossians 3:12-13
People find it hard to forgive and forget. Nor do they realize that the mental situation they are in is due to their ignorance on their part in recognizing their own self. Start now. Forgive whoever has done wrong in your life. It’s the only way you’ll get ahead. The aim is to understand that others are not wrong to the extent you believe them to be, may be you are overreacting. Then they can be easily forgiven, and the mind be easily calmed.
If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. – Romans 12:20
Do not denigrate the person whom you are not able to forgive. Maybe, he is not as guilty as you make him out to be. No need to avoid him. Be neutral, be free from prejudices, and think objectively. In this process of objective observation, whatever feelings come in your consciousness, let them come out naturally. Slowly, your mind will get unburdened of these feelings of hurt. Do not think just about your own self. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Possibly, your own reaction could be wrong. Understanding the other person’s point of view makes self-analysis easier.
Do not bury your pain, lest it turns to bitterness. “Forgive. Forget. Bear the faults of others as you would have have them bear with yours”. Phillips Brooks advised. I concur with him. Forgive as God forgave you! May God Almighty bless you for the change of mind. Stay well, be peaceful and Stay blessed. KEKK – 2019